Stripping for the Pope

MAYBE I'M BEING too sophomoric, but this does not seem like a good idea in light of the recent scandals withing the Catholic church. The look on Benedict's face doesn't help either:

I May Need to Add a Rating...

I WENT TO the CAF today (the agency that deals with the allocation of money that families are entitled to here in France) and I'm going to refrain from writing what I want to write. Let's just say we've been trying to get this straightened out SINCE THE BEGINNING OF 2008!!!

...and we're still getting the bureaucratic run-around.

If I wrote some of the things I was saying in the car on the way home from the CAF, I'd need to add a rating to this blog: not suitable children under 18. (OK, it wasn't that bad, I'll go with 'under 15')

Just an Image

VIEW FROM MY classroom today.

Me and McCain

I'VE SPENT A lot of time in the past couple weeks reading and researching my thesis and I think it's catching up to me. Last night I dreamed I was questioning U.S. Senator John McCain on his position against passage of the new START treaty.

I woke up in the middle of the dream because I had to go to the bathroom, but I'm pretty sure I was schooling him.

Still Can't Get This One Right

THE FOLLOWING POST appeared on this blog in December of 2007. I'm re-posting it because I still can't remember this simple concept...

It's a simple concept, really. We just can't seem to master it.

Unlike grocery stores in the States, stores here in France charge you for the bags you use to carry your food home. There are varying qualities of bags at various prices -- from flimsy plastic bags to strong, sturdy canvass bags (the shopping carts even have nice little places to hold the bags while you shop). The French will use the same bags over and over for months, making sure to always take them with them during trips to the market. Our kitchen cabinet is full of dozens of these sorts of bags, ready for reuse the next time we make a trip to the local Intermarche, Champion, or Carrefour.

But it never seems to work out that way. Instead, we find ourselves in line to check out with no bags, requiring us to purchase a few more to add to our growing collection. Forgetting our bags isn't such a big deal during those spur-of-the-moment trips to the store for a quick baguette or some milk. But when we leave the house for only one reason -- to go shopping for food -- and we still forget to throw a few bags into the car it gets annoying...really annoying.

Perhaps there is a trick we haven't learned or a way to remind ourselves to bring bags with us when we shop. But until we master this BYOB concept, we're going to have a surplus of really nice grocery bags filling up our kitchen cabinet.

They Don't Even Get It

I DON'T SPEND a lot of time being serious on this blog -- I prefer to have a little fun. But I was reminded again today of why this French Adventure is such a great experience. Not for me or Kerri -- but for our kids. So I'll take a minute to be serious...

As most people are aware, I teach at a large lycée that enrolls students who are working toward an international option of the french baccalaureate -- the Bac! That means a lot of things and it can be a bit confusing so I won't try to explain it (again), but the key point is that the nature of the school means that the students -- all 1700 of them -- come from incredibly diverse, international backgrounds. In any class I teach it is common to have students who come from five, six, or seven countries. And while most of my students are French, there are a huge number who speak more than two languages: french, English, and their mother tongue. The result is an incredible mix of culture and experiences. I see that every day, but my kids, who just started at the CIV this year, are beginning to see it first hand -- even though they don't know it.

This evening I took Patrick to a friend's house to work on an oral presentation that they have to give in French class on Mozart. Patrick is working with his friends Paul-Luca and Théo, who are both (obviously) in is class. But here is what is so great: all three of them are in different international sections (which basically means that they have literature and history is their section's language, but all the other classes in French). Paul-Luca grew up in Madrid so he is in the Spanish section; Théo's parents are Italian so he is in the Italian section; Patrick, of course, is in the American section. Now, this may not seem like an earth-shattering observation, and it probably isn't, but it was just so great to see three boys who come from totally different backgrounds working together in their second languages on a project about a Austrian composer. Julia has her project next week and it is possible she will have the same experience with friends who come from Holland, or Russia, or England, or Norway.

On the ride home I asked Patrick if he thought it was cool to have friends from so many different countries and backgrounds. He just looked at me and said, "Huh?" It doesn't even register with him. Or Julia. They're just used to it.

And that's fine with me.

Hitler or Sarkozy?

THERE'S NO REAL good set up for this, so enjoy:

Julia: Dad, was Hitler really short?
Me: Actually, I'm not sure. I don't think he was unusually short.
Julia: Oh wait, I'm thinking of Sarkozy.

To be fair, there was some context for this brief discussion that we had in the car this evening on the way home from a flute lesson. Julia was telling me that she thought today was an anniversary for something and I told her it was the day Pearl Harbor was attacked by the Japanese back in 1941. That got us into a brief discussion of how the attack led the US into World War II, which was fought against the Germans, who were led by one Adolf Hitler, yada yada yada.

So that explains the Hitler question -- but I'm still trying to see how she went from there to Sarko?

Official Start of the Holidays

FOR EACH OF the past three years we have wanted to make the relatively short trip up to Lucéram -- a 15th century village in the mountains about 25 km north of Nice -- because the village holds one of the largest crèches displays in all of France. Each year the village transforms into a medieval maze of mangers, miniature houses, and Christmas decorations. We finally made it on Saturday afternoon and it was certainly worth it: a beautiful old village decked-out in all the holiday cheer you could imagine. That, a long with the snow in the mountains just behind the village, sort of made it feel like the 'official' start to our holiday season.

The first of more than 400 creches in the village

Some, like this one, were incredible small. This box is about 10 inches high.

You wouldn't know unless I told you, but this is a photo of a miniature boulangerie -- part of a miniature village set up in the village church. Those baguettes are each about 1 inch high. Incredible!

Kids just loved the snow in the background.

I only took this photo because it has Christmas lights, a palm tree, a medieval church, a castle, blue sky, and snow topped mountains all in the same picture.

The view toward Nice and the sea.

Gangs of Marseille

MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE I'm working my way through the great show The Wire, but this story really struck me. You don't think of this in Europe the way you do the States. That's probably naive.

MARSEILLE, FRANCE - The hit squad drove up about 10 p.m. in a pair of sporty cars, one Italian the other German, and opened fire with AK-47 assault rifles smuggled in from Eastern Europe.

When the dry crack of gunfire went silent, a 16-year-old drug-runner lay mortally wounded and an 11-year-old boy who had gone out with his sister for pizza was bleeding profusely from rounds that slammed into his foot and, after piercing his arm, ripped a hole in his throat.

Whole story from the Washington Post is here.

Commuting for a Year

ONE YEAR AGO today I took a flight to Switzerland begin graduate school classes in Geneva. I repeated that flight 27 times -- nearly every weekend -- until the middle of June. I kept all my flight stubs and took a picture of them a few weeks ago. See if you can guess what airline I used the most.


My weekly commute is now over and my trips to Geneva will be limited to one every 2-3 months to check-in with my thesis adviser. Downside: fewer kebabs at Cafe Istanbul on the Place Cornavin.

Email Chit Chat

CAN WE PLEASE stop with the email chit-chatting!

I admit that my conduct is not entirely unblemished in this area of e-communication, but I am making strides to correct my errors and I want everyone else to do the same. I could provide a multitude of examples of times where I have erred, but let must just highlight one recent email exchange with a colleague at work -- a colleague who will remain Rob nameless.

Me: Hi, blah blah blah blah it doesn't really matter, just pretend I had a question. 8:20pm
Nameless: Here's the answer to your question. Blah blah blah. 9:10pm
Me: That seems to clear it up. Thanks. 9:22pm
Nameless: No problem, always happy to help a colleague. 9:27pm
Me: That's very kind of you. 9:33pm
Nameless: Thanks. 9:42pm
Me: No problem. 9:43pm
Nameless: See you tomorrow. 9:44pm
Me: You bet. 9:45pm
Nameless: I have nothing else to say, but I'm replying to your email anyway. 9:46pm
Me: Great, now piss-off already. 9:47pm

OK, so the last two bits of dialogue are made up, but the rest is pretty accurate.

Why do we do this? Why do we waste time and space with idle chit chat that is of virtually no value? Here's why: because communicating with each other has become too easy. Gone are the days when we could find simple ways to avoid communicating with people. Gone are the days when we had walk over the the phone on the kitchen wall, pick it up, dial a number, worry that our friend's spouse will answer and we'll have to endure 30-45 seconds off excruciatingly painful pleasantries before we get to talk to the person we called to talk to (Hey Tracy, it's Jonathan. How's it going? Uh-huh. Oh, that's great. Ha! You're kidding. That's pretty funny. The kids are well? Really? Oh, that's too bad. So, it's some kind of stomach virus? Uh-huh. Really? Uh-huh. Well, I sure hope he gets better soon. Anyway, hey, is Steve there?), or fret about whether or not to leave a message. I used to create ways to avoid communicating just so I wouldn't have to use the phone!

But now it's so easy. Too easy. We just sit on the couch and type away while we watch TV or listen to our favorite songs on iTunes. It's almost as if we can do it without paying attention at all -- just a few quick keystrokes and we've created a whole new email, cluttering someone else's in-box in the process. Because it is so easy we just get carried away. Perhaps.

But it is time to stop. From now on I will fight the urge to hit the 'reply' button when there is nothing that needs to be replied to; I will resist the temptation to get one more joke in before I go to bed; and I will not succumb to the desire to show my gratitude by throwing around that extra 'thank you'.

If I want to chit-chat, I'll pick up the phone and call you.

The Twin Advantage

PATRICK AND JULIA have a big math test tomorrow and a good portion of this evening was spent reviewing geometry, multiplication, word problems and other things kids generally dislike. They have recently started doing more of their homework in their own rooms (rather than at the dining room table) and I welcome this development because it means that 1) the table isn't chock-full of papers, pens and books, 2) Henry stays out of their hair, and 3) I can watch sports on TV without them knowing that I'm relaxing while they are working.

This evening they were reviewing for the test in their rooms and I was working on my computer (not watching sports). While working on a few emails it occurred to me that it was suspiciously quite downstairs. What were they doing? Were they studying or playing with toys very quietly. I went downstairs to check on the situation and found them each furiously writing at their desks. When I asked what is was, exactly, that they were doing they making: making a test.

They were making a practice test for each other to take. 4 word problems, 1 geometry problem, and two bonus questions.

This is one of those times when being a twin is a really cool thing.

Snow and Olives

FOR THE PAST couple of weeks we have had about 100 kilos of olives sitting in our garage. We've collected them from the trees in our yard and today was the day to take them to the Moulin Baussy in Spéracèdes, a small village in the mountains just west of Grasse. The Moulin Baussy is where the owners of our house have been having their olives pressed into oil for literally decades. But this is the first time we have been there because this is the first year that we are taking care of the olives at the house. The process is not easy and we've probably spent a good 12-14 hours shaking, sorting, raking, picking, shaking-again, spreading, drying, and finally transporting the olives.

We decided to go today because today was the sixth annual Journée Portes Ouvertes des Moulins à Huile des Alpes-Maritimes, a great day where 15 of the biggest olive mills open their doors to the public -- giving everyone a chance to actually see the olive making process from start to finish. At the Moulin Baussy -- which is not a particularly big mill -- we watched all four of the major stages of the oil-making process and learned that in any given day the mill can process 8 tons of olives (I checked, I did not type that wrong!) At a much larger mill in the village right next to ours they process over 1000 tones of olives every year!

But I haven't even mentioned the best part of the day: it snowed! Snow in November! It wasn't much and it certainly didn't stick to the ground, but snow was falling for about 2 hours and it was great. Just before we left for the mill I took some coffee out to Patrick (the guy who looks after the garden, not our son) who was tending a fire in the back yard and we spent about 15 minutes chatting about weather and olives and watched as the snow fell into our mugs of coffee.

Snow. Coffee. A big fire burning off some of the branches and leaves from the yard. Then a trip to the moulin with a car full of olives with the whole family. That's a good late-autumn afternoon.

Burning off some tree clippings, leaves, etc.

Olives loaded in the car.

In to the mill with the snow falling.

The olive pit spitting area. I crushed Patrick in this competition (notice the sign). By the way, the world record is over 21 meters.

Best part of the Open Door day: tasting.

Beautiful. Two hours ago this was olives.

Sharia In Our Home?

THE OTHER EVENING Henry and I were playing with legos and I told him to build something that we could show Kerri and the twins. 15 minutes he produced what appears to be the facade of a mosque:

Great. How am I ever supposed to taken serious as a future US presidential candidate if it becomes known that my 5 year old son is secretly a Muslim? I hope Fox News doesn't get wind of this.

Dad, Brother, Nice

Monday Lunch

WITH THE TWINS now at my school one would think we'd see a lot more of each other. But the reality is that I rarely see them. Because our schedules are so different and because the campus of the school is so vast, we seldom get more than a quick hello in the hallway or fleeting head-nod from across the courtyard.

Except on Mondays.

Each Monday Patrick and Julia meet me at the Salle des Profs and we go up to the local square for lunch. And it has quickly become one of my favorite times of the week. Monday is the only day that we share a lunch hour so we started taking advantage of it at the beginning of the year and it's now part of our weekly routine. We typically head up to the Petit Café for a quick sandwich or plat du jour, but this week we tried a little pizza place instead and shared a couple of 'pies' and some coke. The pizza place has a real 'high school' feel to it since the place is littered with lycée students from the school (most of whom I have in class) all eating and frantically studying -- and I think the twins kind of liked that atmosphere. With popular music filtering through the sound system there was almost a 'High School Musical' feel to the place. And who wouldn't like that.

I love the Monday lunches!

Two-Man Luge

I MENTIONED EARLIER that my brother I decided to dress-up as a two-man luge team this Halloween season. Now we have the pictures (a few days late) to prove it. Enjoy, and please feel free to pass along these gems to your friends:

A quick photo before our first run.

It's always important to warm-up.

Great positioning during the first run.

It's this kind of aerodynamic form that leads to Olympic gold.

The Promise of What?

MY DAD RECENTLY had a book published called The Promise of Peace and like most books it is available on Amazon's website. Though I already have a copy (my dad sent me one and basically forced me to read it!) I was browsing the amazon.com website and looked up the book to see if it had made it to the Top 10 in terms of sales (just short!). While poking around I found the following review from an anonymous reviewer (I am not making this up -- hit the above link and you can read it for yourself):

From the moment I picked up this book, I felt it's raw power. My hand shook, and sweat dripped down my brow. I KNEW I had to have it! So I bought it and took it home and DEVOURED IT! Never have I read a book with such voracity! When I finally when to sleep that night I felt good...no great, almost as if I was born again, yet entirely drained as if my body was experiencing a transformation. So I slept, and slept for days, until I awoke a week later, with perfect vision and hearing, I had lost 200lb pounds and grew 12in! I was now 5' 6" and ready to take on the world. With the promise of peace in my hand I stepped out of my house and headed to work. I was expecting to get written up for missing so much time, but I was met with a smile and hug from my boss and a pay raise! I found out then that my latent homosexuality was cured as well! No Ted haggard for me now! Armed with this new found knowledge I hit the beach! I didn't need sunglasses or sunblock! I was impervious to cancer and the blinding sun! I pulled the book out and started to read it again and immediately found myself surround with women, drooling over my body... [the next day] I called up my doctor and asked him if everything was alright. He immediately asked if I had read Charles Scriven's book and I said yes. He then said this was a normal side effect! Wow! This was all in the first 2 days after reading!!! The possibilities are endless! Read this book! experience the power! 5 stars is not enough!

Wow! Not bad for a book about the principles of Christian theology.

Halloween, Gambling, and Football

THE FRENCH ARE starting to catch on to the idea of Halloween, but the concept of going from house to house in search of candy is not yet 'the norm.' -- especially in this part of the country. So we just did it at home (again). Scavenger hunt, bobbing for apples, caramel apples, pumpkin drawing/carving, trick-or-treating, the whole works. My brother an I even had the great idea to go as a two-man luge team (photos to come).

But in between the torrents of rain we also had time to play a little football and teach the kids how to gamble (leave it to Uncle Jeremy to teach all three kids how to play Blackjack).

A witch, a 'baller', and Santana Moss

Jeremy teaching the kids all they need to get ready to pay for their college education.

Taking a break from the football game near Gordon, France.

Me and my dad getting into the Halloween spirit.

This is how we Rock the Red

WHEN A GRANDPA and an uncle come to the Cote d'Azur, the obvious thing to do on a Saturday night is...go to a French League Division I hockey game. We like/love hockey around here so we took my dad and brother to the Nice game against Neuilly. Nice got crushed, but we Rocked the Red (a reference to a marketing campaign launched by the Washington Capitals a couple years ago).